Santa - The born again Biker, a poem by Jude
T’was the night before Christmas
And up in the sky
Santa is panicking
Rudolph can’t fly!!!
He’s sprained both his wings
And he’s white as a sheet,
And nothing will fix it
Not even Deep Heat.
‘I need a bright light’
Cried Santa; frustrated,
Then: ‘ I can use that!!’
His tone was elated.
Twas a present that he
Was supposed to deliver,
He looked and he stared
And he started to quiver!
A wondrous machine
All purple and black,
Twin silver exhausts
But no luggage rack?!
For Years he’d dreamed
Of owning a bike,
Fast roads and freedom
And speed and the like.
In a very few seconds
He was sitting astride,
He started the engine,
Prepared for the ride!
He threw it in gear
And raced through the sky
Skidding round clouds
On the ultimate high.
Roaring back to the sleigh
On the grand GSX
He was heard to exclaim
‘This is better than sex!!’
He piled the presents
And all of the toys
In a huge great big heap
For the girls and boys
On the back of the bike
In a pile so tall
All the reindeer swore
They were going to fall!!
But Santa knew bikes
And he said, ‘Wanna bet?!!’
And Hey-Presto!!..He magic’d
A fine cargo net.
That net, well it just
Seemed to stretch on forever,
The reindeer thought
It was terribly clever.
Rudolph was sad
And of humour devoid,
He could see himself soon
Joining those unemployed!
Said Santa, ‘Don’t worry
Old Rudy my pal,
The bike is a present
For some biker-gal.
Her name, well it’s Jude
And she’ll think she’s in bliss,
Cos next year she’s taking
A long trip on this!!
Off then he zoomed
On the roaring machine.
A fat little man, with his eyes all a’gleam!
He did all the rounds
And made his last call
To drop off the bike
(At the end of Jude’s hall)
He gazed at that bike,
Then he whispered, ‘I like her!!
How I wish I could be
A born again biker!!’
posted by madman @ 10:56 am
1 Comments:
Twas the night before christmas,
The cottage was still,
When all of a sudden a parrot screeched shrill,
The dogs ran out yapping, woke everyone up,
The bigguns barked loud and so did the pup.
I leapt from my bed thinking "santa is here, I must go and greet him and offer some cheer".
Stark naked I rushed down the stairs in the dark,
Trod on a cat who was awfully narked,
I shushed all the dogs in my sternest voice, The language I used was certainly choice.
Cos they'de frightened the bloody reindeer away,
and all that was left were some turds on the hay!
Post a Comment
<< Home