Sunday, December 24, 2006

Santa - The born again Biker, a poem by Jude

T’was the night before Christmas

And up in the sky

Santa is panicking

Rudolph can’t fly!!!

He’s sprained both his wings

And he’s white as a sheet,

And nothing will fix it

Not even Deep Heat.

‘I need a bright light’

Cried Santa; frustrated,

Then: ‘ I can use that!!’

His tone was elated.

Twas a present that he

Was supposed to deliver,

He looked and he stared

And he started to quiver!

A wondrous machine

All purple and black,

Twin silver exhausts

But no luggage rack?!

For Years he’d dreamed

Of owning a bike,

Fast roads and freedom

And speed and the like.

In a very few seconds

He was sitting astride,

He started the engine,

Prepared for the ride!

He threw it in gear

And raced through the sky

Skidding round clouds

On the ultimate high.

Roaring back to the sleigh

On the grand GSX

He was heard to exclaim

This is better than sex!!’

He piled the presents

And all of the toys

In a huge great big heap

For the girls and boys

On the back of the bike

In a pile so tall

All the reindeer swore

They were going to fall!!

But Santa knew bikes

And he said, ‘Wanna bet?!!’

And Hey-Presto!!..He magic’d

A fine cargo net.

That net, well it just

Seemed to stretch on forever,

The reindeer thought

It was terribly clever.

Rudolph was sad

And of humour devoid,

He could see himself soon

Joining those unemployed!

Said Santa, ‘Don’t worry

Old Rudy my pal,

The bike is a present

For some biker-gal.

Her name, well it’s Jude

And she’ll think she’s in bliss,

Cos next year she’s taking

A long trip on this!!

Off then he zoomed

On the roaring machine.

A fat little man, with his eyes all a’gleam!

He did all the rounds

And made his last call

To drop off the bike

(At the end of Jude’s hall)

He gazed at that bike,

Then he whispered, ‘I like her!!

How I wish I could be

A born again biker!!


At 12:00 am, Blogger fenwoman said...

Twas the night before christmas,
The cottage was still,
When all of a sudden a parrot screeched shrill,
The dogs ran out yapping, woke everyone up,
The bigguns barked loud and so did the pup.
I leapt from my bed thinking "santa is here, I must go and greet him and offer some cheer".
Stark naked I rushed down the stairs in the dark,
Trod on a cat who was awfully narked,
I shushed all the dogs in my sternest voice, The language I used was certainly choice.
Cos they'de frightened the bloody reindeer away,
and all that was left were some turds on the hay!


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